Scandal of Grace

Good morning, and happy Monday friends 🙂

I’ve been thinking a lot about my next post. My plan was to write something strictly about hair. But I feel compelled to write more this morning.

I have spoken multiple times about how I struggle with what I deserve or being prideful when I look at the work of others. In addition to that, today I  want to talk briefly about grace.

I have written about why I chose the name “Grace to Create” because it is by grace and grace alone that I have any creative ability, or relational ability to talk with people all day long. God graced me with these specific talents to be a part of this career path. And I am really thankful for that. But it’s hard not to pride myself on these gifts and abilities. I might tell myself I was brave enough to leave college and invest a large sum of money into hair school to learn something entirely new. I tell myself I invested in this salon right out of school and put a lot of time and work into continuing my education and now I work long days and I deserve to be good at what I do because I have worked and continue to work to reach that point.

I would like to ask the question, if God graces us with a specific talent, is it wrong to completely discount what we’ve done? What level of self-promotion, if for our career, is wrong? What if I self-promote in order to prove to any potential clients that I do actually know what I’m doing. Is that ok, as long as I don’t let it get to my head? Because when it becomes strictly about me I am unwilling to see what God has given me, and I am unable to thank Him for it.

If anyone has any insight on this, please share 🙂

But I think about how much grace God has shown me. Even in the times where I am at my very worst and only focused on self-promotion simply for myself, He has still shown me grace. I am praying for this kind of grace, and trying to learn how to show grace like this to others.

I am a woman of little patience. I try my best to see things from others perspectives but the second they do something to upset me personally, I have no grace. Its something I am working on. I wonder what friendships and relationships would be like if we truly saw others how God sees us, if we were really seeking to love and forgive the way God does. If we focused less on being right, if we were able to remember how our worth lies in what God thinks of us and not what others think. But that we would still, always, seek to put others first.

Yesterday I was at church and I was talking to a few of the lovely women who are a part of the community I have come to know as family, and I left and couldn’t wait to tell Jon, my boyfriend, about just how loving they were. Kind and loving and full of grace. I thought of all the messy parts of my life and wondered if these women have messy relationships, or meet mean people, or struggle to have grace when speaking with someone who may be difficult to deal with. Kind of silly. Obviously everyone deals with the messiness of life. I just hope that one day I will be a person who responds well to it, or at least better. I am seeking to be better, to be more kind and full of love and grace and forgiveness and to be more like Jesus. I am hoping to do this for the benefit of others and not for myself. I don’t want to get lost along the way, and start to focus on how to do this for myself. I want to seek to put others first, and that they might notice something different because of the grace God has given me, and not because of anything I have done.

I decided to write about this today because I was thinking a lot about all of the hair topics I wanted to discuss, and I realized this was weighing much heavier on my heart. I still want to discuss those things! But God is working in me right now, and I want to open the door to any conversation relating to all that He can do. I have recently been struggling to forgive and let go and God so clearly loves me and shows me grace through all of my bitterness and emotional messiness. So I decided to share. Because when it comes to any dark part of me I want to hide it in a corner and pretend it doesn’t exist. But it does exist and it’s important to work through that. My hope is that at the very least, aside from my rambling, there are other artists, entrepreneurs, business or career-driven people who struggle with recognizing God’s grace as well, and just how deeply we are loved.

“You will become a person of greatness not by trying to make yourself into one, but by serving the One who said to his Father, ‘For Your sake, Thy will be done’.” +TimKeller



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