Today I am writing for my women. I am writing for women because I am sick and tired of seeing all of the girls EVERY WHERE, including myself, hating on other women!
We become bitter if another woman is skinny, pretty, healthy, wealthy, successful, has more followers on IG, more likes on Facebook, a kind husband/boyfriend/fiance, a cute baby, a big house, a hold on life, a lot of friends, or happy.
Donald Miller wrote an article on how playing the victim really makes you the opposite. If we are going to play the victim all we are really doing is just manipulating others around us to feel sorry for us. If we were actually going to respond rightly we would just forgive and move on on our own time, instead of continuing to manipulate people around us into feeling pity for us.
So, I won’t pull the victim card, but all women have dealt with “mean girls” of some kind. I am hoping to encourage my followers and readers to seek ways to redeem this.
I know plenty of women who have encouraged me and others in so many ways, who don’t seem to let spite or jealousy affect them. I am so grateful for these women!
I hope that for every spiteful or bitter woman you meet there is a kind and encouraging friend to counteract. I hope that I can be one of these friends, and I am trying really hard to be more kind to others and helpful and encouraging instead of letting any of my insecurities change the way I respond to people.
I will be the first person to comment on how women treat each other. I will call anyone out for responding out of bitterness, I usually can’t wait to remark on how a woman is responding wrongly because of her own jealousy or insecurity, so much so that I am brought to the point where I respond to this attitude in a way that is catty and mean. I climb my high horse and talk about how women should love and encourage each other and not let ourselves respond out of insecurity and spite.
And then I meet a woman who is prettier than me, or funnier, or a better hairstylist, or can sing well, or clicks with EVERYONE THEY EVER MEET, and suddenly, I hate her. She is the enemy and I have 15,000,000 reasons to hate her. She suddenly becomes pretentious or she knows how great she is or she’s actually really not that funny, in my eyes at least. I start to become cynical towards her every move.
I know I am not alone here. We are so freaking messed up and our tactics for hating and loving other women have no rhyme or reason and they are really, really stupid. I know I am among many when I say these things. I have been a part of too many conversations, I have let myself say too many negative things surrounded by women consuming themselves and me consuming myself with negative thoughts and emotions and ideas about other women.
We should encourage our fellow women to speak only positively about others, not by judging them when they say something negative, but by being so positive ourselves that they have no choice but to be positive around us and hopefully around others.
I am not at all claiming that I am not among the many cynical and jealous women. I hope it is understood that I am fully in there, deep, in the wreckage, finding plenty of beautiful and smart and intelligent women to hate for whatever reason I can find. I just wanted to write to encourage myself and others to work on this. Be kind to others, especially to your fellow women. Build each other up. Affirm each other. When someone does something right, when she has a win, congratulate her, tell her she did a good job, support her. And when you’re with your other friends and you finally have the chance to say something negative about this girl’s win, choose to be positive. Choose to be happy for her and speak well of her and her accomplishment.
This is my hope and my prayer for myself and others ❤ Have a happy happy Friday.